Shadows & Secrets (Lick of Fire Book 4) Read online

  “Rae! You made it!” I was pulled into my mother’s embrace and squeezed until I thought I’d pop. Familiar perfume filled my nostrils and another wave of nostalgia claimed me. I’d missed my mom. I hadn’t known it, until now, breathing in her familiar scent, being pressed against her warm body.

  “I told you I would.” Clearing my throat, I stepped back, “don’t get too close mom, I stink.”

  “You do.” She laughed, the sound joyous. “Come on upstairs and get freshened up. I’ll let the others know you’re here.”

  “So they can settle up their bets?” I drawled.

  “I’m going to get the jackpot,” mom laughed again, leading the way up the stairs. Grandma’s house was massive, with six bedrooms on the second floor alone.

  “You knew I’d come?” Why was I even surprised?

  “Of course, darling. No matter what happened, we’re family, and you’ve always done the right thing by family.” I was pretty sure my family had disowned me after I’d been locked away. Mom had visited a few times, as much as they’d allowed – I’d kept getting my privileges, such as they were, revoked. I’d barely heard from the rest of my family since, and that was eight years ago. I hadn’t seen dad since they’d dragged me from the court room, kicking and screaming. Nor my brothers Cameron and Tyler, although since my release we’d re-connected on social media.

  “I made this room up for you.” Mom opened a door and I glanced inside. A big wrought iron bed with a yellow dandelion comforter took center stage.

  “I’m staying here? In Grandma’s house?” I hadn’t expected that. I’d thought I’d be going home. To mom and dad’s. To my old room.

  “I’m sorry darling but…well once all you kids moved out we did some renovations and now your rooms? Aren’t your rooms anymore. You don’t mind, do you? There’s not enough space at your brother’s apartment.”

  “It’s fine mom. Don’t worry about it.” Only it wasn’t fine and a twinge of anger, a jolt of fire pulsed through my veins. Closing my eyes, I concentrated on centering myself, of channeling the anger and suppressing the fire.

  “Rae?” Mom’s hand on my shoulder had my eyes flying open.

  “I’m going to shower mom and then I’ll be right down okay. I’ll be as quick as I can. I assume everyone’s here and you’re all waiting on me.” I refrained from adding the words ‘as usual’ to the end of that sentence.

  “We’ve got time,” mom glanced at her watch, “another forty minutes before Father Moore arrives.”

  The brief flare of joy I’d felt at seeing mom faded as quickly as it had arrived. Father Moore would be bringing Grandma. In a casket. To be buried up on the hill, next to Grandpa. A shudder ripped through me and I turned to the bed, throwing my backpack on it and digging inside for toiletries.

  Flicking on the cold water tap in the bathroom, I held my hand under the spray waiting in vein for the water to turn icy. The best I got was somewhat cool. Even the cold water ran hot in Maxxan. This is why Grandpa had settled here, started his family here. The heat. He was a fire demon. Only when he’d chosen a human to mate and marry, his people had banished him, so he and Grandma had pulled out a map and chosen the hottest place they could find that was still habitable, survivable for a human. Maxxan.

  Shrugging out of my clothes and tossing them in a pile in the corner I stepped under the spray, sucking in a breath as the water hit my overheated flesh. These days I was used to the cold, subzero temperatures, it would take time to adjust to the heat – but it didn’t matter, I told myself, because once the funeral was over, I was out of here. I’d spend the night, for there were no more buses leaving Maxxan today, but I had a ticket in my purse for eight tomorrow morning and I had every intention of being on that bus. I just had to get through today.

  * * *

  “You’re burned.” My cousin Vanessa eyed me up and down, a frown pulling her brows together, “and fucking white.”

  Touching my fingers to my heated cheeks I could feel the burn Vanessa mentioned. Too much sun on my almost virgin skin. Standing beneath the burning rays we’d buried Grandma at noon. Beside Grandpa, beneath the big old tree on the hill. Then walked back to the house where the rest of the towns folk had gathered to pay their respects.

  “Not so much sunshine in Alaska.” I shrugged. I hadn’t seen my cousins since before my trial. The family had kept the younger children away, not wanting me to taint them with my behavior. Or give them ideas of their own. Vanessa brought me up-to-date – she and her twin Travis had bought an advertising business in Redmeadows and were running it together.

  “Your own business eh?” I nodded, feigning interest. These people felt like strangers to me. My family, my own flesh blood, were nothing. I felt no emotion toward them. I wasn’t pleased to see them, nor displeased. I’d felt a brief flare when mom had held me, but that had long since gone and now I just felt empty inside.

  Dad could barely meet my eyes. He’d looked me up and down when I’d come downstairs in my figure hugging black dress. It was the only dress I owned and I felt self-conscious as fuck in it. Dad’s eyebrows pulled together before he turned his back and I had to stop myself from racing back upstairs and changing into my usual attire of jeans and t-shirt.

  “You could have made an effort.” He’d snarled. I’d been taken aback, I admit.

  “Me being here is an effort.” I’d snapped back. And that had been the extent of our conversation. I’d always been my own person. I’d never conformed, no matter how much dad had pushed. And he’d pushed. I’d spent more time grounded than at school.

  “You did good today.” Tyler, my youngest brother, slapped me on the back and grinned.

  “I didn’t do anything.” I protested, confused.

  “Exactly! Well done.” He winked to show he was joking and I relaxed a fraction.

  “I thought Sophie would be here today?” Sophie was Tyler’s girlfriend, and from what I’d seen on Facebook, the pair were practically joined at the hip.

  “She should be here any second. She didn’t want to intrude on the service, but she’ll be here for the wake.”

  “You’re happy?” I asked, looking intently into his eyes, the dark brown an exact match to my own. He’d been fourteen when I’d been locked away and a twinge of regret had my hand twitching, a crackle of electricity skimming over my skin.

  “Yeah, I am. What about you Rae? You got yourself a boyfriend locked away in the snow?”

  I laughed, “In my basement you mean?”

  “That’ll work.” Tyler nodded. The banter with my brother eased my tension, soothing my demon. The pain of the funeral, of the tears that had fallen unheeded down my cheeks, the ache in my heart. For my eyes had not been on Grandma’s coffin but on Grandpa’s headstone. He’d died saving me. It was my fault he was dead. Everything had turned to shit since that one pivotal point in time.

  “Hey Rae.” Cameron, my other brother pushed a beer bottle into my hand, “get this into you.”

  “Thanks Cam.” Taking a swig, I let the cool alcohol soothe my tight throat.

  “When you heading back?” He asked, “I assume you’re not sticking around?”

  “Tomorrow morning. I can’t stay Cam, you know that. This place is…bad for me.”

  “But you’re okay now? Aren’t you?”

  “If you mean, do I have control? Then yes. I have control. I’m fine. But I don’t want to push the limits. None of us want my demon unleashed.”

  “Shhh, Rae.” Vanessa waved a hand, “don’t talk about that here.” She indicated the locals who were gathered in the house, standing in groups talking, sharing stories of Grandma, hovering by the buffet table and hoovering up the morsels mom delivered from the kitchen.

  “Relax, don’t get your G-string in a twist.” It was out before I could stop it. Someone was always telling me what to do. I was done with it eight years ago and I was done with it now. Turning my back, I wove my way through the crowd, nodding when people offered their condolences, noting the spe
culative way they looked at me, knew they were judging me, finding me lacking. Some things never changed.

  Behind me I could hear Cameron and Tyler arguing with Vanessa, telling her to get off my case, to leave me be, that she didn’t understand. Me and Vanessa were chalk and cheese, Vanessa had always followed the rules. Whereas I went out of my way to break them. Vanessa wore dresses and makeup. I was jeans, boots and unruly hair. We had never seen eye to eye and I knew Vanessa would never truly understand the battle I had with my demon.

  All of us are part fire demon. Diluted now with human DNA the family had speculated that I perhaps had a stronger proportion of demon than human since my demon was so strong within me. None of my cousins experienced the outbursts I did, the lack of control, the all-consuming fire. Not even my father, who was half fire demon himself, had such control issues.

  The screen door slammed against the house as I busted through and I cringed, hating that I was drawing attention to myself. Dragging in a deep breath I grabbed the door and carefully closed it. Stay calm. At the far end of the verandah was the porch swing I’d loved as a child, and I made my way to it, gingerly sitting down, testing its weight in case I found myself on my ass.

  I’d been alone, enjoying the solitude for all of ten minutes when it was shattered by the sound of the back door opening and footsteps heading my way. My eyes were closed and I’d let my head drop back, drifting, doing my best not to think of anything. The footsteps were heavy, male. Not the tread of either of my brothers. A cousin maybe? Besides Vanessa’s twin brother Travis, I had another cousin Cody, a year younger than me. Squinting open one eye, I promptly closed it again when I saw who was standing over me.

  “What are you doing here?”

  I heard movement, assumed he was taking his hat off, could hear as he ran his fingers over the brim while holding it in front of him.

  “Came to offer my condolences.”

  “Thanks. You can go now.” I dismissed him. I wasn’t interested in any of this social bullshit.

  “It’s a big moment for this town. The black sheep returns.” He said.

  “Jesus. Move along now Buchanan.”

  “I meant what I said earlier Rae. I need your help. This town needs your help. Your family needs your help. Haven’t the ones you love suffered enough?”

  “Probably.”

  Instead of leaving he sat next to me and my temper crept up a notch. Keep control. I could smell him again, that warm chocolate musk smell that tempted me to lick him to see if he tasted as delicious as he smelled.

  “Where have you been Rae?”

  “Not here.” I had a feeling he knew exactly where I’d been. Agent Buchanan had done his homework on me, quite thoroughly. Maybe he was changing tactics, asking questions instead of revealing all he knew, in the hopes that I’d agree to help him. He’d have a long wait I vowed silently.

  “Thanks for the condolences Agent.” I left him sitting on the porch swing, could feel the heat of his gaze boring into my back as I went back into the house. If I wasn’t leaving in the morning I’d almost be tempted to hang around and see what game the Agent was playing. Almost.

  Chapter Three

  “I love you Rae but you’re as broken as they come.” Aunt Martha pressed a wad of notes into my hand. “Enough for a ticket back to Alaska.”

  “Gee thanks Aunt Martha.” Curling my fingers around the cash I didn’t bother telling my Aunt I already had a ticket bought and paid for. If my family was that desperate to get rid of me, let them shower me in cash.

  “Everyone! Please gather around.” Martha’s husband, Glenn Shelton, clapped his hands, shushing the chatter. It had been a long day, the wake had lasted several hours and now the sun was creeping over the horizon, the townsfolk had departed, all that was left was the family and the reading of the Will.

  “Thank you, Glenn.” A middle-aged man dressed in a stiff black suit tugged at his tie and ran his finger around the collar. “I’m Curtis Jacobs, Rose Shelton’s lawyer and executor of her Will.” He seemed nervous and I wondered why. His eyes landed on me and danced away, sweat beading on his forehead. Ah. Of course. My presence made him nervous. Sighing I took up a stance leaning against the living room wall, arms crossed over my chest. Once this was over with I could go to bed, get a good night’s sleep and in the morning, I’d be gone. Goodbye the heat of Maxxan, hello the snowy climate of Alaska. I grinned at the prospect.

  “This is the last Will and Testament of Rose Alice Shelton, wife of Thomas Shelton - deceased, mother of Frank, Glenn, and Roy, Grandmother to Raelene, Cody, Cameron, Vanessa, Travis, Paige, Katie, and Tyler.”

  I grimaced at the use of my full name. No-one called me Raelene. Not since the judge in the stifling court room eight years ago. I hadn’t thought of my time in the Institute in such a long time, but now, being back in Maxxan, it was all fresh in my mind, as if it had happened yesterday. Tomorrow couldn’t come quick enough.

  The lawyer droned on, talking about assets, heirlooms, bank accounts. It wasn’t until my name was mentioned that I tuned back in.

  “Raelene. Rae.” The lawyer looked at me and then down at the paper in his hand, “there’s a letter here that Rose has asked me to read.” He cleared his throat, smoothed a trembling hand over the paper, then began.

  “My darling Rae. We did wrong by you. In so many ways, too many times, we – us, your family – did wrong by you and with the power of hindsight I can see that now. Now, when it’s too late to tell you in person. When it’s too late to right the wrongs. Forgive me my child.

  Thomas’s death was not your doing, nor your fault. It was however, your trigger. Your coming of age that should not have happened at the tender age of five. We did not see it, could not fathom the pain you were going through, unable to control the fire within you – a fire that should not have flared to life until your eighteenth birthday.

  Instead we treated you as a rebellious child and teenager. Punished you. Allowed you to be locked away. Allowed you to be taken from us. Nothing in the world can make up for what was done to you. I can never convey how very sorry I am. Thomas would be ashamed of us all.”

  The lawyer stopped for a moment, cleared his throat, ran a finger around his collar again but didn’t look up. My breath had caught in my throat and I waited, stunned at his words.

  “Our family is fractured and that is on me. I will see to it that we are whole once more. I dare say you will be angry with what follows Rae. You will rebel – I’m counting on it. But know this. I love you. No matter what you did, no matter whose fault it was, I always have and always will love you.”

  You could have heard a pin drop; the room was so silent. All waiting. What had Grandma done? Folding up the letter the Lawyer held it out, eventually letting his arm drop when I refused to take it.

  “Get on with it.” I growled, moved by Grandmothers words but angry that this, her funeral, the day we said goodbye to her had been made all about me. Again. I wanted to slink off to my room with a bottle of whiskey and forget it all.

  “To Raelene Mary Shelton I leave my house and surrounding land.”

  “I don’t want it.” I cut in, but the lawyer looked at me and shook his head before continuing, “on the provision that she lives in it for one full year. The property can not be sold nor handed to another.”

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I pushed away from the wall and began pacing, “I don’t want this house. I don’t want to be here and I’m pretty sure as shit none of you want me here.”

  “There must be provisions for if she doesn’t live in the house?” Uncle Roy directed his attention to the lawyer.

  “There are. She can live in the house for a year and then sell and the proceeds will be shared between Raelene and her cousins.”

  “And if she doesn’t live in it? If she refuses?”

  “Then after a year, the house will be sold with the proceeds going to a charity that will be disclosed at that time.”

  “How much? How much are we talking?�
� I asked, hating being backed into a corner this way.

  “The house and land? Over a million. Probably closer to two if not more.” The Lawyer replied. “Give or take. Depends on the market at the time of sale, but Maxxan is growing and this land is prime real estate for future growth and development.”

  “No.” I shook my head. This couldn’t be happening. I was being blackmailed into staying. Jokes on you Grandma, I don’t want your money.

  “Think of your cousins.” Uncle Roy said, “they could use that money. So could you. Start afresh after a year. You’d all get, what, around one hundred and forty thousand each? At the very least. Van and Travis could use that for their business. Cameron could use it for his garage. Any one of you could buy a house. Anything.”

  “Forget the money.” Travis said, “I don’t want to sell the house. We need to keep it in the family.” Vanessa nodded and Katie and Paige joined in. Fuck.

  “She’s trapped me.” I couldn’t help but admire Grandmas tenacity. If I don’t live in the house it would be sold and none of the family gets the money. If I do live in the house I can sell it and share the money with my cousins. But only after a year. And my cousins didn’t want the house sold at all.

  “What happens if I don’t make it to a year. What happens if it falls short and I leave?”

  “Then the house will be sold and the proceeds go to charity. After a year.”

  “Think of someone other than yourself for a change.” Dad said. Mom jabbed him in the ribs with her elbow. “Frank. Did you just hear what your mother wrote? About how we should be supporting Rae? Rose is right. We allowed everything to happen. This is our fault too, you can’t put it all on Rae.”

  “Like hell I can’t.” Dad stormed over to the dresser where the alcohol was kept and poured himself a whiskey. I could use one myself but was reluctant to join him unless I fancied being backhanded across the face. I could see the barely controlled violence in the trembling of his hand.